Sunday, 30 November 2014

Life the Other side of the world ♥

Hey There,

In my previous post (which was along time ago, sorry about that) i said how i moved from the UK to Australia which is a big move. i just thought i would tell you all what brought this move on and how i'm coping with this move. This is a very long story Sorry!

So around February 2014 i went for a weekend away with my college just as a little fun weekend away and this guy went we had a "thing" since the start of the college year, but anyway we went and had a good laugh staying up till 5 in the morning talking and having a little flirt (i knew nothing could happen as he had a girlfriend, but it was wrong of me to even like him let alone flirt with him!!).
After the weekend was over we went back to college and everything was normal, well at least for two days anyway. He text me saying that he broke up with his girlfriend because he liked me too much and it felt wrong (which is fair enough) so that night we decided to meet up and talk about things, we ended up talking until 1am (maybe a little kiss in there as well). After that night we decided we would start dating but keep it secret for a while as it would hurt is "Ex", i was fine with that. Until the next day i saw him and his "Ex" kissing in the student lounge!! What a kick in the heart that was! i ended up ignoring him all day and night until i told his best mate (which was also mine) what had happened and he was there for me and kept telling me what a jerk he was after everything he had put me through. That night i text him saying that he needed to choose between me or his "Ex" he replied saying that he needed me in his life but his "Ex" needed him so he could not choose.

Now while all this was happening i was failing my college course and no one was there to help me though it, everyday i struggled to get up and go into college, everyday i was struggling to see the point of going in if i was just going in to sit there confused and upset... Multiple times i was in tears because of it! I loved the course i was doing but because i was struggling to keep up with my work i was failing!

After a few weeks went by i just gave up on the guy that apparently needed me because he just needed his "Ex" even more, that made going into college 10x harder, around the middle pf April my life was horrible i couldn't get my self up and go into college, I hardly spoke to anyone, I was constantly crying because nothing gave me hope anymore. It was like i was depressed. So it was then i decided to quit college.

So one day i turned to my mom and said maybe i will give Australia a chance (We chose Australia because my dad had been working there for 2 years living between countries and we wanted to all be together). After i had spoken to my mom i told my best friend and she was disappointed because she knew that this was all because of one guy, i tried telling her that it's not but she could see straight through me.

A few months went by and the house was sold, the flights were booked and i started regretting my decision to move. I went out with my friends one day and broke down in tears to them telling them that i couldn't do it, i couldn't move around the world but i also couldn't tell my mom or dad that. i started staying out late avoiding my mom at all costs until one day she stopped me and asked me whats going on, i told her everything how i regret telling her i wanted to go and that i wanted to stand on my own two feet and stay here in the UK. after alot of crying we decided on a plan that was i would travel to Australia see my dad and save money and after three months in Australia i would move back to the UK and live on my own. I was happy about that. Mostly happy she understood what i was saying.

So towards the end of August we boarded the plane to Melbourne Australia! i was excited, happy but i was also sad because i knew that i had no one in Australia. i had no one that i could just call up and say lets meet up for a drink or anything like that,

Here i am 4 Months from getting on that plane i still haven't moved back to the UK, i wish i was back in the UK because i still don't know anyone here, i have no friends, no job, no money. I stay in the house 24/7 trying to find a job online it's horrible! i try and speak to my friends back in the UK as much as possible but because of the 11 hours time difference it is becoming extremely hard. i feel like i constantly have no one to talk to and i'm starting to feel like i was back in April which is hard as i said i never wanted to be that down and feeling abit depressed. I didn't know it was this hard to meet new people, Iv'e always lived in the same small village for the past 18 years of my life, it's so hard to give that up no matter how many months it is.

Anyway reliving all that has made me cry enough, i actually miss the cold weather the UK has around this time of year! mad i know!! 

Thank you for actually reading this (if anyone does) and if you have had a hard time in your life dont be scared to share! this took me a long time to open up about it was only last week i told my best friend that she was right that i done this all because of one guy! 

Thank you once again but for now it's a Goodnight from me

Just Another Girl xxx

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