Now this is hard for me to write about because not even my closest friend knows this about me, but i was never really a socially awkward child but as the years have gone by i have seemed to grow (not sure if that's the right term to use but it seems to fit for me) socially awkward.
The other week i was out with my mum having lunch and she asked me to pay while she went and answered a phone call and i couldn't move from my seat to go up to the counter and pay for it so instead i sat there froze and waited for my mum to come back and she just called me stupid and told me to grow up. Other things similar to this like going to pay for something in a shop, or going into a shop and asking for a job, or even asking for directions make my heart beat fast and make my hands go all sweaty and my voice goes all weird. Now i feel like i can't even talk to my mum or my friend because they would both tell me I'm being stupid and over thinking things but i know that's not it! i know that there is a reason i can't do the simple things anymore without feeling like i am going to burst into tears. I cant even meet new people because i cant hold a full conversation anymore, i cant do so many things just because of this! I don't know if it's something i have done or if there's something i could of done to stop it from happening.
No one else i know goes through this so i feel all alone all the time!
Do any of you have any advice for me because at the moment i feel like i cant leave the house without someone by my side to help me! how am i meant to live on my own when i can't ask a stranger for directions, or when i can't go pay for a coffee! what am i meant to do?!?
I know this isn't a normal post i would do but at the moment I'm struggling with this more than ever.
If any of you struggle with the same thing i would love to talk to you and get some advice??
Just Another Girl xxx