Fear is a big thing for me i have many different types of fears and they all hold me back in some way, even though i probably shouldn't let them,,,
Now some of you may not understand this fear of mine but for me it's a big part of my life as it holds me back so much!
So recently my mum became assistant manager at a restaurant and the other night she was understaffed due to family emergencies, School work and birthdays so instead of hiring a random person to come in and help she bribed me to come in and help out, the deal i made with her was that i would hide behind the bar not serve anyone and just clean the tables after customers. at the start of the night that's all that happened, other people served the customers and i just washed up glasses and cleared plates and lay the tables until it got super busy and they needed me to take plates out to customers...
I don't have a steady hand at the best of times and being put under pressure makes it 10x worse so i was petrified in case i dropped it on the floor, or even worse on the customer!! but after all of that i didn't drop a single plate! i only broke one wine glass which was only because it fell over in the dishwasher... (so that's not really my fault right?)
I don't know why but the thought of giving people their food or taking orders from them makes me feel so weird and after i have given them their food i cant help but think to myself i should of done it differently. is it just me or do other people have this as well??
So tonight was my second shift there and it got a bit better, i went up to customers to see if they had finished with their plates and i even got talking to a customer about the UK as he travels there for work. i only dropped one thing on the floor but luckily it didn't break!!
I Still don't think I'm brave enough to go the full waitress type like taking orders and carrying drinks but i must be doing something right if the boss wants me to come back next weekend?!?
For some reason being a waitress was and still kind of is, a huge fear of mine, maybe it's part of my social anxiety or maybe it's just because I'm constantly worried about being judged... either way I'm kind of glad I'm being eased into being a waitress and not jumping in the deep end!
Still give me a clothes shop to work in any day and I'd do it perfectly!!
Sorry this was a bit of a ramble!!
Just Another Girl xxx